When going through a stressful and traumatic time, it can be admittedly difficult to feel any sense of joy amidst all of the pain and suffering.
Most recently, my elderly mother, already besieged with dementia, was rushed to Emergency with sepsis and a stroke and spent four weeks in hospital, steadily declining and approaching death. My days became subsumed with phone calls, visits and medical consultations, and it was impossible for me not to get worn down physically, mentally and emotionally.
The situation was compounded by disagreements with hospital and family members over the best policy for my mother’s care, and without my having an adequate support system in place here, I was constantly aching, raging and crying, my nerves were shot and I struggled to keep myself together. Unsurprisingly, I developed a bad skin infection and needed IV antibiotics and am still slowly recovering.
The importance of self-care at such times is always emphasized, but is so much easier said than done. However, I made sure to make time for myself every day to pursue joyful and fulfilling activities, and what became the biggest lesson for me throughout this period was the utmost necessity of finding joy in the midst of sorrow.
It seems counterintuitive and even wrong somehow to want to be immersed in joy at such a painful time, but I discovered that it was absolutely essential for my own wellbeing. Without joy, the stress would have devoured me from within.
For me, my main source of joy was, as always, in nature, cycling through the woods by the river and interacting with wildlife. Their immediacy and ebullience drew me from the constant spectre of death and reestablished my connection with all that is elemental and eternal.
Joy is what makes life worth living – of helping us carry on and have things to look forward to and celebrate. It reminded me that there is still life out there and wonders to be discovered and enjoyed. Seeking joy gave me the strength I needed to face my challenges with renewed perspective a greater patience and compassion for other people, as well as myself.
While my mother recovered enough to return home, she is still nearing the end and the road ahead remains uncertain. But what has remained steadfast for me is my determination to seek and find joy whenever possible, to reconnect to the realization that I have my own life to live and its precious gift remains vital for me to embrace.